


What money can buy

by Mrnohu



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:35:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26988358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrnohu/pseuds/Mrnohu
Summary: After the raid on the 20th ward juuzou is left crippled and honorably discharged. He has been heavily rewarded for his service, and so without the framework of the ccg ,or his mentor he may freely ask the question "what can money buy?"
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written a fanfic before, but I just had this idea,and I thought I'd try. Just a bit of edgy writing about one of my favorite characters ever.

A loud voice brought him back to awareness from his half sleep. He was curled up on the floor, the sound of rain high above him was felt more than heard as It pattered in his chest. He sat up ,and wiped soft, wispy hair from his face ,sliding his hands past his throat ,over his collar bone, and along his perfect, plastic ribs. He looked around his abode only slightly lit by a series of slits in the top. He wished he could sleep ,but he figured he wouldn't have much time now. Tonight was an important night. 

He stared at the far wall in a daze, until a loud thud ripped his attention from the crack in the wall that looked like a face. He turned his head, and gulped when he saw the chain of his door come undone. He quickly fixed his hair ,and straightened his back as he stood. He waited for mama to call his name, and mentally prepared for his performance ,but when the door slid open a man he didn't recognize stood before him. The man peered into the room with a stoney expression ,until he spotted the small boy standing in the corner ,and his face softened. He Raised a hand ,which was responded to by the lowering of weapons ,and finally he spoke "who are you?" He asked in a gruff voice. The petite boy simply walked forward until he was only a few steps from the man, saying "my name is rei-chan" 

Juuzou rolled over in his bed to face away from the wall. Sweat trapped his hair between his neck ,and the collar of his button down shirt. He took a moment ,rubbing sleep from his eyes to remember where he was. He got out of bed ,and grabbed his crutches before walking the few steps to the door. He felt a weird tingle in his bladder ,and sighed at the thought of his catheter acting up again, but when he got to the bathroom everything worked as it should.

He leaned on the wall, and looked around his living room, at the TV set on the floor ,and the boxes of his belongings near the door, The pile seemed pitifully small. Sitting on the floor near the pile was a badge, that had no coat to go on, pressed into the glinting metal was the proud insignia of the ccg ,and streaming from it was a short purple ribbon. He picked it up and turned it over in his hands ,then suddenly a thought struck him. He had a lot of money, he was a wounded soldier, and was heavily rewarded for his efforts... If he wanted he could buy things the way normal people do. He had been told this before ,but only now as he stood in front of the door to his new apartment did it hit him. 

He pulled a rain coat ,and his well under used wallet from a box, and nearly leapt out the door landing on both his crutches ,balancing effortlessly on one ,he pushed the elevator button ,and went inside. having one leg ,and not having exercised for months didn't stop him from zipping down the hall of his building, frightening a group of men leaving the building to go to work. He stepped out the front door and stood on the side walk with a thumb in the air. 

A taxi pulled over a few moments later, and he sat in the back, putting his crutches on his lap. The driver looked at him in the mirror for a moment before turning to him and saying "where to?" 

Juuzou looked at him like that was a weird question to ask ,until he realized it wasn't. "Where can I buy things?" 

The man looked a moment longer and said "there's a... Shopping center down town" 

juuzou nodded his head in agreement. The man looked back to the road and stepped on the gas. When they were on the road the driver asked "not from around here?" 

Juuzou responded "no actually born and raised."

"What are you doing all alone?"

Again juuzou was confused, but then he realized how he must look. A one legged teenager walking the street by himself in the rain. "I'm not sure yet" he said. he meant to just think it but it fell from his mouth.

The man might have said something else ,but it didn't reach him. His ears were full of the sound of rain on pavement, and the clatter of the city.

A few moments later the man's voice rang over the white noise. "Here we are" juuzou turned to him ,pulled a bill from his wallet ,and lazily extended it to him. He hopped out the door with both crutches under his arm ,and disappeared into the crowd of the shopping center.

Juuzou walked down the row of stores ,the the light of the windows sliced through the dark and misty twilight. down the row he saw an atm machine ,the light above it seemed to glow more brilliantly then all the others firmly establishing itself as his goal. He effortlessly floated on his crutches his foot bearly touching the ground ,as he approached the shining box of legal tender.

When he finally stood before the box he realized... He had never used one. A wail of frustration filled his mind, it nearly made it through his lips. He didn't really want to buy anything anyway, why was he so angry? 

He stood in front of the box ,and it's taunting display, be griped his crutches in a vise. The screen seemed to spin ,no the whole world. He bit down almost hard enough to chip a tooth. His head felt hot, and all the bustling sounds were mute, he barely noticed a single finger tap his shoulder. He slowly turned his head. Looking through rain drenched locks of hair, he saw a young woman in a uniform with a name tag reading "honey". 

"uhhh... Excuse me, my shift starts soon, I wanna buy breakfast. I need to use the atm..." 

Juuzou read her lips more than listen to her voice. He trembled, where before he felt if he allowed himself to yell it would drown the street in his voice, now he felt the city's dull tones smother his unborn words. He moved his mouth ,hardly believing words would come out "I... I need to use it first... But I can't"

The woman spoke again after a short delay "what do you mean?" She laughed nervously.

Juuzou spoke as if he was admitting his greatest shame "I don't... Know how." he shivered violently and clung to one crutch.

"I could help you."

"Really?"

She smiled a bit "my shift is soon, but I'll do it for you real quick" 

"Thank you" 

She stepped past him carefully and began her work. He handed her his wallet, as if it was completely normal ,and she took it without a word. It must have taken a minute or two, but it felt like an eternity. Suddenly she asked "how much do you need?"

"How much can I get?"

Her eyes darted over to him for a moment, he wondered if she would ask "what does a one legged, rain drenched teenager need with that much cash" but she didn't ,she took the wad of bills ,and tucked it awkwardly in his wallet. She handed it back to him.

"Thank you" he said again just to be sure.

"Happy to help." She turned back to the machine ,and jumped a bit when a finger fell on her shoulder. 

"Don't bother ,I'll buy you breakfast"

Juuzou wasn't sure why he said that ,or why she nodded slowly in agreement ,but he wouldn't complain.  
"What are you in the mood for? She asked after a moment"

"Do you like pancakes?" He asked as if there were people who don't.

She seemed to ponder for a moment until she spoke in a chuckle "yeah sure"


	2. A soaking wet one legged teenage boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if juuzou bought you breakfast? This chapter almost sounds like an xreader fic but it's not... This is a juuzou x pancakes fic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was hungry and was thinking about my boy.

honey guided juuzou to a fo-american style dinner behind the rows of the shopping center, nestled between low class hotels. 

"My favorite spot for breakfast and coffee" she said ,as they stepped through the door. She held it open to let him pass. They sat down in a booth, and juuzou rolled up his coat on the seat. 

For a few minutes neither said a word until honey broke the silence "so... Your name's juuzou suzuya" she said looking anywhere but at him.

"Yes..." Does she watch the news? "I'm kind of a big deal"

That got her attention "how so?" 

He realized if she doesn't recognize him it would be strange to say that "look me up, you'll see"

She pulled out her phone ,and typed in his name... She gasped holding her phone with a picture of juuzou in front of her as if to compare it to him.  
"You work for the ccg?" She asked in disbelief.

"Honorable discharged." he muttered nearly mocking his superior.

"Holy shit dude!!" She exclaimed, startling a waitress who had come to take their orders. 

She looked at the waitress, and then back at juuzou "what do you want?"

"Whatever you get" he slumped his face in one hand

"Two short stacks please" she said not even a little apologetic. That made juuzou giggle to himself.

She turned back to him after the waitress left "you are an investigator?"

"Yes."

"And you fight?"

"Yeah." He smiled a bit that time

"But you're so..."

" Tiny." Juuzou said plainly, narrowing his eyes while trying to hide a grin.

"I was gonna say small boned"

Juuzou chuckled reviling his smile 

"What is a wounded veteran doing by himself?"

"Shopping"

"What for?"

He thought for a moment... What do people buy? "I was actually just taking a stroll" 

"You have one leg, and you're carrying a wad of cash"

Juuzou was momentarily distracted buy the fact that she hadn't asked why a ccg investigator couldn't use an atm. Then he answered honestly "I don't know" 

"You don't know?"

"I just got out of the hospital yesterday, and I made tons of money on my last mission so I thought I'd buy something... But I can't think of anything" 

She looked at him thoughtfully "what do you like?" 

He hadn't thought of much ,but that mission, the prospect of never working again ,and how to convince his nurse to bring him extra pudding for weeks. His heart swelled a bit trying to grasp at an identity that wasn't there. What was juuzou suzuya like? "Dresses ,make up, drawing..."

She perked up ,and blushed furiously as the waitress placed two plates on the table. She paid her no mind while she covered her mouth ,and looked at the boy. Juuzou had been to distracted by pancakes to notice, and had just realized he hadn't eaten since the hospital.

"You..."

"Yeah?" Juuzou said through a mouthful of pancakes.

"You're a girl?"

She looked at his face a moment longer, but before she half believed it, he said "no I just like to look pretty", he said as he lifted a whole pancake off the stack.

She looked into his big tired eyes underlined with deep shadows which were thrown wide as he bit down on his meal with a vengeance. A bit of syrup rested in a drop on his cheek. "Yeah... You're beautiful" she said as he gnashed his teeth again.

"Thanks" he said with full cheeks. "You haven't touched yours...."

"Oh" she looked down "right right"  
She took a small bite.

Juuzou finished before she was done with her first, he sat patiently swinging his legs while she ate. He was feeling a lot better now, maybe he was just hungry. As the young lady finished her breakfast juuzous stood up, and waved his hand in the air, the waitress gave them the bill ,and juuzou payed plus a hardy tip saying "I've got loads of the stuff"

Juuzou threw his coat over his shoulder ,and held both his crutches in his arms. he hopped out of the dinner as if he wasn't missing a leg.

The rain had stopped leaving only a mist. Juuzou turned around when honey came outside. "Well that was nice" he said in a hum.

"Yeah for sure ,thanks" she looked at the boy standing on one foot with a half leg in the air behind him. He puffed out his chest to balance, he looked like a ballet dancer. He would look good in a dress. 

"Well I gotta go to work" she said as, she jumped down onto the sidewalk

"Oh yeah" juuzou said distracted by the glint of the wet street 

As she walked away she couldn't help but look back at him, she thought how from this stance she could imagine him bounding of into the distance like an elk ,his cold white mane trailing him like a ghost. this would be the last time they'd meet in person for a long time ,but she would surely watch the news more closely from now on. 

Juuzou felt wind sweep down the alley dragging bits of discarded paper with it, he thought how if he allowed it ,the gust would carry him too. He spun once on his heel ,before positioning his crutches ,and walking back through the rows to the center again.

All the shops were open now, and in windows on all sides were displays of clothing and jewelry. The glint of a sleek black dress cought his eye, but he looked better in something with frills and volume to hide his lack of shape. He pouted at the window for a moment before realizing "if I want it I can have it" an almost sinister grin lit up his face, startling the woman sitting at the counter inside. He pushed open the door 

"excuse me" he said as if the words were funny "do you have anything like this in my size?"

He tried on the splendid attire with a big black sun hat. He filled it nicely as ,it was made for someone rather slim, a nice surprise.  
He looked good, he even looked less tired. He twirled once as the dress shimmered in the overhead light of the dressing booth. "Yeah that felt right." The price was satisfyingly high. he loved to watch the wad of money deplete.

When he stepped out of the booth, the clerk suppressed a gasp. he put the money down on the counter ,and walked away on his crutches, his elegance unhindered buy them. When he stepped out the door his heart felt light, a stray drop of water tapped his wide brimmed hat. "That's right" he giggled under his breath "what else can money buy?"


	3. Boredom and insanity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My boy isn't feeling so good :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so begins the angst

Juuzou all but skipped home, his dress billowed gently behind him, as his crutches scraped the sidewalk. The sun was lazily shining through the clouds. He only realized how tired be was when he face planted in his bed, his hat flying in a fantastic manner as he fell. He rolled around in the smooth fabric ,and faced the nearly empty room. He laid in his bed staring at the wall for a few moments before his phone lit up. The quiet sound startled him as he rarely received texts. He picked up the phone from it's position beside his shoulder to see a message from iwao, who had come to visit him in the hospital ,and gave him his phone number certainly an arrangement shinohara had made before his last mission. The text read simply "greetings soldier, my condolences" 

Juuzou attempted to muster an image of the man, massive ,with a furious expression glued on his face. His thumb shook a bit as he responded "thank you ,sir" 

Three dots sat blinking in the corner of the screen for a moment "how are your wounds soldier?" 

"Fine, thank you sir" his thumb hovered over the keyboard before he continued "will I ever work again?" he read the words over a few times before adding "sir" to the end ,and sending it.

The dots showed for a few seconds "you're missing a leg son, take it easy"

Juuzou shuddered ,and stared past his dress at his foot. the dots flickered ,and disappeared. he waited a moment longer before he responded "you're right" his heart beat fast.

"Thank you for your service, you made shinohara-san proud"

Suddenly he felt the feeling from the atm, but ten fold, his face grew hot, and his hands shook "I know, thank you sir" 

No response, he stood up ,and instantly felt dizzy. He pulled off the dress in several clumsy, rushed movement as if it clamped down on his body. He stumbled through the bathroom door on one knee ,and lost his breakfast in the toilet, before dry heaving so hard he smacked his lip on the lid. The smell of bleach and salty blood filled his nose ,and tears began to form in his eyes. He curled on the floor sobbing loudly. 

This was the first time he cried since the operation. Even when he turned away his superior's wife coming to visit him in the hospital, even when he woke up the first night, and realized it wasn't a dream, even when he stepped past his mentors room, dreading he might see him through the window ,his eyes stayed dry. Hot tears and sticky blood pooled under his face, he began to heave again, he smacked his head against the wet floor ,drawing shakey breaths. He sat up, the tips of his hair dripping red, he stood shakily sitting on the toilet ,and felt a twinge of tingling in his bladder, his fucking cathatar. A shaky scream escaped his throat followed by a sob. He put his head in his hands and bellowed "why mamma?" 

He inhaled sharply when he heard a nock on the door ,a few seconds passed ,and he heard it again, louder this time. He stumbled to the door in his underwear ,with blood still on his face, he opened it a crack to see a young man standing in the hall "excuse me, you're the my new neighbor, is everything ok?" In the dim lighting the he must not have noticed that nothing was ok. 

"yeah" juuzou managed to slur

"Are your parents home?"

"No" he closed the door

He looked down at the floor seeing double, the glint of metal and the soft purple increased his fury. Anger built in his throat he nearly screamed again "that fucking badge" he thought to kick it but only felt the numb quivering of his phantom limb, a weak sarcastic chuckle left his throat. He shambled to the room, and sat on the bed, a single drop of blood stained the sheet. He reached for his phone and scrolled for his doctor's number "I can't pee" he texted.

he sat, looking down at his underwear   
Until she responded "I'll call you an ambulance, would you like them to come get you up there?"

"No, I'll come down"

"Ok, are you feeling alright?"

"Peachy otherwise" he lied

"They'll be there soon"

"Cool"

Juuzou threw back on the dress ,and grabbed his crutches again. He felt disgusting ,maybe he was getting sick because of the issues. He walked out the door banging his head on the frame ,while waiting for the elevator. He got in the ambulance without help ,and they drove to the hospital.

Juuzou's doctor dr. Miller (no relation) is a kind young lady ,and the only doctor juuzou will have treat him. She is aware of all his conditions ,and even his preferences. He calls her by her first name "suzy" 

When he arrived in the room suzy smiled at him "how are you feeling today? I didn't expect to see you back so soon."

"I'm mad ,and I can't go to the bathroom"

"Unrelated?" She mused

"Yeah"

"You look great by the way" clearly ignoring the cut in his lip and blood shot eyes. she often spoke to him while she worked, helps to calm his nerves.

"Thanks" he replied shortly

She was finished quickly as it was only a minor problem. "I have a surprise for you" she said over her shoulder as she handed his paperwork to a nurse 

"Is it extra pudding?"

"No" she giggled "I found out your ccg benefits include the opportunity to get a prosthetic"

"A new leg" he perked up

"Yeah, I could make you an appointment for a fitting if you want"

"Really? That would be great!" He said trying not to sound to excited.

"How does Monday next week sound?"

"Perfect"


	4. Friend of ours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juuzou reassess his priorities because he's becoming a responsible young man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music recommendation "friend of ours" by elbow, it plays at the end of this chapter. I feel like juuzou developed a lot in tg ,and his character makes sense in tgre ,but a lot is missed in between. He's on the path to being the juuzou of tgre at the end of tg, but we never see his journey from there

Suzy had offered to get him a taxi home ,but he insisted he had somewhere to be. He just didn't want to return to that empty apartment yet. He decided he would walk around for a while like he used to after work. He may have been more capable then most people without a leg, but the leaps he would make from rooftop to rooftop were no longer possible. He stared at the tops of the buildings so long he felt dizzy. He realized that his foot was cold, he had lost his lone slipper. The city felt huge ,the view from his hospital bed couldn't describe it. He thought for a moment that maybe he had become very small. His breath smelled like throw up and blood, but he couldn't stand to return to that bathroom. He walked farther from his home, disallowing his thoughts from breaking his stride. Suddenly his eye was cought by bright colors ,and his nose by a sweet smell. The candy shop was open "I don't have to wait for someone to give me treats ,I can buy my own"

He bust through the door triumphantly ,as if he had solved his problem. He looked like a very strange little girl. the clerk an old man with kind eyes smiled at juuzou as he passed. He hastily grabbed several armfuls of candy ,and put them on the counter in a mound he couldn't see over. He only heard the man gasp "d-don't eat it all in one sitting..." 

"Yeah I won't (bet)"

The man began his work in counting up the pile ,and when after ten minutes he was nearly a 6th of the way there ,juuzou sat on the floor in front of the counter. "Take your time I've got all night" he said in his adult voice. He thought he could feel the man nod in agreement.

It only took a few more minutes, but juuzou was already "comfortable" on the floor when the old man said "will that be all young lady?" 

Instead of correcting him, juuzou got up, slung the three bags of condensed sugar over his shoulder, and said "yeah thanks" he smiled, spewing bills across the counter.

A near by bench would make a good place to inspect his spoils, it felt to big and empty even with the humongous pile of sweets beside him. He thought of how he would never get away with this normally ,as he clamped his mouth around a large spiral lollipop. Good and sweet the way things should be, this is what he wanted right? He doubled back on his logic as he twirled the lollipop in his mouth. 

"The reason for life was to have fun." "Yes.'

"And people die all the time, it doesn't mean we should all die."  
" Yes. "

"Then why do I feel dead? I'm having fun ,and I'm alive. why is this happening?"

"Sometimes people are fun right? Shinohara was fun to be around."  
" Not always."

"You miss mama sometimes right? Was she always fun?"  
"No." A tear began to form in his eye, his mouth tasted sour from the sweetness the candy left when he removed it to shakily answer himself aloud.

"Did you love mr.shinohara?"  
"Yes" he squealed under his breath

"Why doesn't this feel fun anymore? It was all you ever wanted."   
"I don't know"

"Aren't you angry at mama for what she did? you loved mr. Shinohara and he told you she was bad."  
"I don't know"

"Are you angry at shinohara? He said he would take care of you"  
"I don't know"

"You don't know!? Did mama love you?"  
"She told me she did"

"Did mr.shinohara love you?"   
"I-I think"

"But they treated you so differently. Did it ever really make sense? Why make mama proud if she hurts you more for it? When you made mr.shinohara proud he only smiled and praised you. "  
"You don't understand rei-chan, that's not what it was like"

"Then why are you sad for mr.shinohara if he didn't love you like mama did?"  
"Because "I" loved him! I "love" him!! It was fun when I made him smile, or laugh, or look at me disappointed or confused. I had never had so much fun"

"Then what will you do now? He's no more fun the way he is right?. There's no more fun to be had, you could give it up, and finally rest juuzou-kun"  
"He... He told me he would be sad if I died"

He put the candy back in his mouth, gathered his bags and walked in the direction of his building "I'm getting my job back"

At some point between then and the next morning juuzou stumbled home, did his makeup, stitched up his lip, and ate copious amounts of candy before falling into bed ,spreading foundation all over his pillow.

He woke up at the crack of dawn with 5 hours of sleep and nothing but candy in his stomach. He washed his face, put on his work clothes, stuffing all pockets including the shirt pocket with candy ,and leapt from the door once again.

Juuzou kicked open the front door to the office (he swung on his crutches) and stood like a cowboy ready to draw two guns from his holsters. A few recent academy recruits laughed aloud only to be discreetly elbowed by there saluting superiors.   
"What brings you here suzuya sir?" Said The secretary who was well familiar with what a handful he was.

"I've come to take what's mine" 

"You forgot something in your office? We cleaned it out already"

"No, I want my job back" he said plainly with a big smile on his face.

"Ok... I'll make a few calls, how about you sit down quietly. I'll see what I can do"

The woman sighed into the phone "hey, we've got another one who wants his job back"

"I know right, the retired benefits are great"

"No it's suzuya"

"Yes he is missing a leg"

The woman mouthed at juuzou "are you sure?"

He nodded excitedly  
"He's sure"

"Alright, you too, bye"

The woman put the phone down  
"That was mrs.mado, she says they might have work for you"

"Yay!!! Thank you Alice thank you!!!" 

"She says she'll call you in an hour or two to discuss"

"Cool" he said with a wicked grin as he pulled a piece of candy from his pants ,and set it on her desk.

Juuzou sat in the lobby distracting investigators with seemingly only his presence. He idly chewed at a piece of taffy. He was still struggling to chew the fruit flavored puddy when akira stepped into the room. Juuzou looked at her and smiled, a bit of the candy sill stuck in his teeth. "Hey Akira" he said trying to sound cheery.

"Hello juuzou" she deliberated for a moment "how does breakfast sound?"

"No pancakes" he said with a grimace

"Sure" she smiled not even considering asking.

Akira had scheduled their meeting for her break, she couldn't stand the thought of sitting behind the desk in her office when talking to juuzou. She had spent almost no time away from work after the operation in the 20th ward, so no one batted an eye when she decided to take a long break today. 

She held the strap of her shoulder bag tightly as she held the door for juuzou. Instead of saying thank you he smiled at her again, he didn't need help, but she felt like she needed to show him it's ok to. When they were a ways down the block she asked "what do you want to eat?" The words didn't feel right she wasn't talking to him like "juuzou" 

As if he hadn't noticed her thin liped frown he answered "curry like normal"

She mustered a smile "of course" she said as if it should have been obvious. Her heart was beating fast, the clack of his crutches on the sidewalk was sickening. Juuzou's feet were light, his steps were quite.

They ducked into the alley, and akira greeted the man in the restaurant with the raise of a hand. Unspoken "the usual, it's been a while, where's your friend?"

They sat at the bar ,and waited a moment at last juuzou spoke "akira, I want my job back"

The bowls slid quietly over to them. She put her hands on the table as if to say grace ,but instead turned to juuzou "look" she began to speak and juuzou looked at her expectantly "why did you come back here, this place is a death trap"

Juuzou put a finger to his lips and looked up in thought for a moment "it's the only thing I'm good at" he said finally

"Juuzou don't say that, you are young enough that you could leave in one piece. You have the money and the freedom, you've learned so much. Just take it and go."

Juuzou grabbed her sleeve "akira are you even talking to me?"

She thought over his words and said "it's different for me"

"Look i don't care why you stayed, but I've decided if you can't give me my job for back ,because you care about me, then we aren't friends anymore mrs.mado. I'm just the most capable one legged investigator you'll ever see."

"Juuzou I.. "

"Yes mrs mado? Something concerning my work?"

"Juuzou please, try to understand"

"I have no interest in finishing breakfast with a failed prospect. Goodbye mrs mado" 

"Wait" she grabbed the corner of his shirt.

"I'm listening mrs.mado" this was a new face for juuzou she had not seen. Not a touch of softness, his eyes were hard as stone and his frown drew skin tight over his cheeks.

"I've lost so many friends now" she gulped "I can't lose you too"

Some people may have softened, some people may have apologized but not juuzou "my job or nothing, mrs Mado" 

She smiled at how incredibly "juuzou" his stubbornness was, more like himself than he had been all morning "alright mr.suzuya, I'll have you working again by the end of the week'

"Thank you Mrs Mado"

"Please call me akira"

"It's been a pleasure akira" he giggled. Her heart melted for the first time since that operation.  
"I think we are gonna be great friends"

"I think so too juuzou"


	5. Good job ,good boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think lots of people get a good first impression of juuzou or are easily charmed by him. He's childish and light-hearted, but most of all he has far more humility after his time with shinohara. I think most people (especially people who don't know his history) take a liking to him.

Rei-chan." the voice sang through the darkness. "Wake up Rei-chan."

He stood up in an instant still only half awake "Yes mama."

"I said not to sleep, you'll be loosing good boy points for this."

"Yes mama." he whimpered

"Smile for me Rei-chan, I want you looking your brightest for tonight."

He smiled warmly as he walked forward "of course mama."

She lead him by shackled wrists to ring "You'll be our main event tonight, make mama proud." she held his hand gently while she unlocked his chains.

Tonight his prey was a tall pale man with long black hair ,freshly washed ,it draped from under the bag over his face. He side stepped into the center in a predator manor. A shaky sigh left the man's throat. The crowd watched with baited breath "can he really win? He's so small." The boy lifted one leg behind him ,looking over his shoulder at mama smiling wide. He leapt at the man shouting "look what I can do!!" 

He moved like lightning ,doing several pirouettes as he closed in on his next victim ,the crowd shouted ,and the action was only begining. the man turned to run, but he was to slow. The boy jumped into the air landing on one hand resting on the back of the man's head. His hair fluttered like ribbons as the boys weight brought him down on face with a thud and gasp. he stood in a hand stand twirling playfully, and lifting himself up and down, giggling as if his display wasn't happening atop the man's head, letting out raspy breaths. He threw himself in the air landing one foot in the center of the back of the gagging mess of a creature. He leaned like a swan ,lifting one leg high in the air ,and spinning his knife as he did. Classical music replaced the roar of the crowd in his mind ,time was slowed as his dance came to a close. He carefully bore the knife in the man's neck ,and time returned to normal, drops of blood spewed at the speed you would expect.

The sound of his stomach over the rain brought him to awareness. No good boy time today. His phone told him today was Monday, and that he hadn't slept enough. He struggled to the kitchen "empty" he muttered "how do you order pizza again?"

Today he was scheduled for a fitting of his new prosthetic ,and a physical exam for the ccg. Akira had made sure it was on "juuzou hours" ,but he had been waking up so early he wished it was sooner. "Fitting at 2:00, exam at 5:00" he repeated it several times so he won't forget. "And right now it's..." He looked at his phone "7:30!!" He groaned loudly. No, this was important ,no complaining. "Mr. Shinohara would be proud" ,he realized these were the words of iwao. He smiled ,and clenched his fist "for mr.shinohara, my salvation"

He walked to the bathroom ,and peed triumphantly, before he undressed, and showered for the first time since the hospital. When he was clean he stood in front of the mirror, puffed out his chest and said "good job juuzou-kun" in his best shinohara impersonation. He dressed himself in a pare of slacks and button down shirt. He only got the buttons wrong once.

"And ready!" It was only 9:00 ,and he had gone slow intentionally. He thought breakfast sounded good. From the academy cafeteria ,to the office cafeteria ,to the hospital, someone was always feeding him, now he had to feed himself "I'm loaded, I can buy something anyway" he thought to himself "maybe Akira will help me go grocery shopping" 

He sat on the floor in front of his tv, looking back and forth from his phone to the title screen of a video game until at 1:00 suzy called him. "Juuzou, are you ready?"

He could hear the smile in her voice.  
"Yeah" 

"Actually ready?" 

"Yes" he sang

"Good, I'll be there soon. Be downstairs when I arrive"

"Wait"

"Hmm?"

"Why are you helping me?" He said unintentionally sounding like Liam neeson.

"Because you're my friend, juuzou"

"Oh... Umm"

"I'll talk to you when I get there, bye." The woman said distracted.

Today he walked almost the way a normal cripple would, he was lost in his thoughts. When he got downstairs suzy was already waiting for him, she was wearing casual clothes. "Hey"

"Hey juuzou" she smiled at him as he climbed into the car. "How are you feeling?"

"Ok I guess, I'm excited about the leg."

"Good" she pulled into the street

"Is it your day off?"

"Yeah..." the ride was filled with an awkward silence silence ,until juuzou finally said "we can't be awkward. You inspect my junk for a living"

She laughed struggling not to be distracted "I have to drive juuzou"

"Don't let me stop you"

They pulled into the clinic ,and suzy helped juuzou out of his seat without him asking. They walked inside ,and were lead by a doctor who's name juuzou didn't pick up even if he had introduced himself, to a room full of machinery ,but juuzou's mind was in a distant place, he followed the doctor's instructions without a thought. A strange machine lightly set a needle on every half inch of the skin on his good leg, including the sole of his foot. The doctor had decided to talk to suzy instead of him, after a half hour of tests and measurements ,she put a hand on his shoulder, causing him to shiver, and breaking his daze "that's all, let's go" she smiled warmly.

"Really? Already?"

"You'll have the prosthetic in 3 to 6 months"

"Cool" she ushered him out and to the car.

When they finally sat down she said "you seem distracted, what's up?"

"I've got a physical exam in a few hours" he muttered absently

"Oh... For what?"

"I'm getting my job back" he said finally fully engaging her

"Juuzou..."

"I can pass the exam."

"You're not worried?"

"I fought the one eyed owl with the wound still fresh, I'll do fine." He smiled wryly

"Then what's distracting you if you're so sure"

"My boss" coming out of his mouth it sounded like a phrase too adult for his voice.

"Oh..." That same silence filled the car once again.

"Remind me doc, how many times a month do you check my groin?"

She snorted "shut up!" She stopped at a red light "am I taking you home?"

"Maybe,"

"When is your exam?"

"5:00"

"Do you want me to take you?"

"It's in two hours"

"I don't have anywhere to...." She was interrupted by her phone ringing. She held it to her ear but kept her eyes on the road.  
"Hey honey" she sang

"Yes, it's alright"

"I'm still helping him"

"If it weren't for people like him you would have died that night"

'i love you too honey"

"I'll be home soon, I promise, bye"

Juuzou was falling asleep ,and suzy noticed "where's the exam"

"Downtown at the facility" he looked out the window.

"Would you like me to drop you off?"

"Sure"

Suzy drove through the lazy traffic of the dreary city ,until they reached the downtown square. The facility had never felt so giant and towering. Juuzou must have seemed visibly stiff because when suzy helped him out of the car she hugged him "it's gonna be alright juuzou, I'm proud of you" 

Juuzou was unable to speak a low sound croaked from his throat. She held him by the shoulders ,and smiled at him "call if you need anything"

"Yeah ok."she began to get back into the car "wait"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you suzy"

Two hours flew by fast and slow all at once, sitting in on the park bench downtown ,and looking at his phone every few minutes. He stood in front of the facility for a moment taking deep breaths "juuzou" a voice called to him

"Akira" he mustered a smile and nervous laugh.

"You're actual on time" she looked at him proudly "and your shirt is tucked in" she was beaming. "Come on" she put a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey akira"

"Yes?"

"...Never mind"

The gym was as big as he remembered, the clang of metal filled the room all the way to it's high ceiling. The doctor stood chatting with a few investigators just finishing their routine. "Ah mrs.Mado, mr.suzuya" he looked juuzou up and down "will we still be scoring the one kilometer dash?"

"I can do-" akira interrupted him "absolutely, I told you to treat him as you would any other" she turned to juuzou "why don't you go get ready?" 

He walked twords the dressing room. Striping off his shirt felt like undoing a lot of good work, he removed his shoe ,and changed into a pair of gymnastics shorts. He was normally very wary about showing this much skin, but he wanted the doctor to see his ability in full. He walked into the room with his head held high.

The first test was a long jump he excelled in this as usual, even landing once again on his good leg. Then a high jump, then in his ability to lift his own weight, an incredible number of pushups and pull ups, and finally the sprint. While in his first exam he was high above average in speed this time around he just passed. The doctor was surprised to see the one legged boy move a kilometer in the same amount of time he had seen strong able-bodied men do it. 

"Juuzou... You actually passed!!" Akira stared at him in disbelief tinged with pride.

"What? you thought missing a leg would stop me? This job is my life"

"You're not the same juuzou I met back then, I'm proud of you"

"Akira-san I-" he was interrupted by a loud growl from his stomach.

"Juuzou when's the last time you ate something?"

"I can't remember!"

"Juuzou" she looked at him disapprovingly

"Will you help me go grocery shopping, Akira-san?"

"Alright fine" she sighed but clearly smiled.

"Yay thank you!" He hummed


	6. Thank you Akira-san

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm getting lazy on checking these but it's still understandable so it's alright

Juuzou sat in the waiting room, while akira finished her work, he quietly hummed to himself. His performance was interrupted by a hand on his shoulder "what are you doing here, son?" Juuzou looked up to see the towering form of iwao.

"I had a physical exam, I'm getting back to work ,sir" something about how firm iwao was always made juuzou want to meet him strongly.

"You're special, soldier"

"Thank you ,sir" he straightened his back. 

"Take care soldier" iwao spoke few words but juuzou always understood exactly what he means.

Akira walked in soon after to see juuzou once again humming, now a wordless theme for iwao. she skipped overtime for the first time in weeks to help juuzou. She hadn't gotten a real chance to talk to him, since they worked together in that tiny office.   
"Are you ready to go?" he asked as his song ended.

"Yes ,juuzou." she spoke softly, and pulled her bag over her shoulder.

"Great" he hopped up ,and crutch-walked to the door. Akira held it for him again, this time he whispered Thank you for real.

"You're quite welcome" 

It was beginning to rain when they reached the train station, the drizzle sang on the roof, and somehow Akira knew juuzou was humming along. They boarded the train ,and juuzou took a "wounded veteran seat" ,akira sat beside him.

"I haven't been on the train in a long time, what store are we going to akira-san?"

"There's a nice little grocery market a few stops down the line, I haven't been in a while ,but the prices are good. Did you bring money?"

"You know it." Juuzou curled in his seat ,and his humming continued.

It was a full down pour when they reached their destination. Luckily someone was selling umbrellas at the station, akira gasped when juuzou tossed the bills into the man's arms. Juuzou handed both to her ,and walked into the rain ahead of them she ran after him ,and stretched the umbrella over his head, he simply smiled at her when he saw the shadow cast over him. The store was quietly buzzing with shoppers and florescent lights, juuzou stood in the doorway a moment just taking it all in before he inhaled sharply "akira!" He whisper screamed ,pointing at a sign above the automatic carts "I'm a disabled shopper!!" Akira nodded as juuzou leapt into the seat.

"Just be careful with it" she took his crutches from him ,and put them with the umbrellas in a cart. Akira smiled gently, juuzou liked when she made that face, that was the face she made when he did something good. "akira-san?" He rang "what should we buy?"

They strolled past the rows of food stuffs a moment longer, before akira asked thoughtfully "what do you want to eat?"

"Ice cream!"

"You can't just buy ice cream, you need real food" she looked off for a moment "can you even cook?"

"I can make cup ramen!"

"Anything else?" 

"Sandwiches..."

"Yeah?..."

"French toast" he whispered sheepishly.

"Really?" She grinned 

"Yes!" He said defensively.

"Will you have me for breakfast sometime?"

Juuzou couldn't tell if she was joking "sure!!" He gripped the wheel of his cart tightly. "I really can!" He huffed.

"I Never said you couldn't" she pulled a carton of orange juice out of the fridge ,and set it in the cart.

Juuzou peered into her eyes, a tiny bit of aw could be seen behind his glassy expression. "It'll be really good" he said as if to challenge her.

"I'll be the judge of that" she snickered back. "Let's get the stuff for it."

Together they meandered through the shelves. Akira picking up, and explaining different food items as they went, juuzou often bumping into things and people, while grinning from ear to ear. Akira picked up an ice cream cone ,and held it over her shoulder for him to see, before putting it in the cart, he put his hand on his face a gaped jokingly. 

Juuzou was giggling with excitement when they rolled into the check out line, he grabbed a stack of chocolate bars slapped them on the counter, The cashier looked at akira as if to ask if that was except able ,she shrugged her shoulders, and began to hand the woman groceries ,one by one. Juuzou tapped his foot, and hummed to the arhythmic beep of the bar codes. Nodding his head back and forth as each item passed. Everything fit neatly into four bags it would be enough food for at least a week, akira considered that Monday might become "juuzou's grocery day" she wasn't to bothered by that. The lady had finished her work "will that be all ma'ma?" akira looked at juuzou.

"yeah" he said lazily handing her his wallet.

"Yes ma'am" akira finally responded, handing her the cash ,and trying not to look to confused as to why juuzou had so much money on him. 

The buzz of the store was slowly replaced by the rain as they made their way to the exit. Juuzou saw the sign by the entrance once again, and his heart sank. Akira immediately understood what he was feeling "you have to leave it behind now"

"But... But I don't want to" he wined quietly

"Juuzou..." It'll be here when you come back.

"But..."

"I'll take you again next week too." 

Juuzou's face lit up "okay akira, next week." 

She smiled warmly handing him his crutches he stood up shakily. She opened his umbrella ,and set it on his shoulder ,and did the same with her own. They arrived at the station just as the train rolled in. When they sat down akira turned to him, and said "I'm working with a bright new agent, I think you two might work well together."

" Who is he? what is he like?" 

" sasaki is an excellent and unusual investigator, I think he would appreciate your methods."

"Right" juuzou looked down at his foot.

"I'll have you meet him tomorrow, then you can decide." Akira unwound the bags from one wrist ,to put a hand on juuzou's shoulder.

Juuzou bit his lip "ok" this was a new look on juuzou's face, on anyone else akira would have called it melancholie.

The rest of the train ride to juuzou's apartment was filled with an uneasy silence, juuzou didn't quip or joke, and he wasn't falling asleep ,he was thinking. Akira watched his dark eyes trace the sole of his shoe ,and the crease between his brows appear and disappear. The train felt dead without his humming. When they reached their stop ,she nudged him gently, He got up without a word.  
She prepared his umbrella but he didn't smile, his lip was turning red from bitting it. When they stood at the entrance of his building he stopped akira walked one step before noticing and turning around "i-i" he stuttered. Bowing his head in a clumsy curtsy he said "thank you, akira san" he reached for the groceries, but she pulled away "no problem juuzou" she smiled "I'll help you upstairs"

He nodded sharply, his face pulling in tightly. they walked together through the hall, the clacking of crutches echoed softly. The elevator ding ,and the turning of the key seemed ghostly when combine with the rain "do you need anything else?" She asked, puting the perishable food including an ice cream cone in the fridge.

"I don't think so" juuzou hopped up to sit on the counter. 

"Do you have my number?

"No" he swung his leg back and forth.

"I'll leave it for you, call if you need anything" she stood up from her stoop by the now empty bags. 

"Ok" he said just above a whisper. She scribbled her number on a recipe. on her way out, juuzou watched her the whole way from the counter, before he hopped down again, and made his way to his bed. He brushed aside the growing pile dirty laundry and ,laid down "see I can still have fun rei-chan"

"You can that fun?"

"You know what? I shouldn't have asked you. Good night."


	7. Butterflied hindquarter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically an scp file in Tokyo ghoul.  
> Detective juuzou is on the case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know anything about tokyo ,so anything I write set there should be taken with a grain of salt, I'm not even well read on the lore of tokyo ghoul, forgive my ignorance.

It was a pleasant sunny day ,he could tell by the warmth of his chamber, and the lazy sunbeam drifting from the ceiling. The tiny bit of light inspired him, a feeling he had no name for ,so he called it nagging, he was nagging himself. He wished mama would leave him crayons and paper when she left ,but he could never use them out of her sight. The image of the man's silky hair and slender build made his hand restless, the deep stroke of his black crayon would let him see it again. Those quiet labored breaths still tickled his palm "I liked that one the most ,and mama did too." He muttered to himself. Today he hoped he could draw again, and maybe mama would give him a book so he could dream his way out of his chamber at night by a skinny beam of moonlight.

Juuzou woke up late that morning a good comfortable sleep, though the matrass wasn't quite as nice as his hospital bed he could feel it hug him gently where the hospital bed felt grim. for the first time in weeks he didn't want to get out of bed. He felt dizzy and sleepy, bearly dipping into wakefulness before drifting back to sleep with the sound of the rain tickling his ear ,and the other buried in his arm. The drifting of rain drops on the window greeted him as his eyes fluttered open "good morning" he whispered to no one. His lips were dry and his stomach was empty. He had forgotten to eat again. He rolled over to his phone and grabbed it, on his way to the bathroom he ducked in the kitchen to grab akira's number. Sitting on the floor in the living room he plugged in the digits with shaky fingers, yawning as he finished.   
"Hey akira"

She saw it immediately "juuzou?"

"The one and only"

"Nice, I can schedule a meeting with sasaki next Friday, we are tackling a big investigation so he will be busy"

"Can't I come help?"

"You perform better in the field, this phase was never your strong suit"

"Not true, I was praised for my unique insight"

"I'll see what I can do, remember to eat something"

"Thank you Akira-san"

"You're welcome, I'm busy but I'll talk to you later"

"Alright bye"

Juuzou suddenly had no reason to be on the floor, he stood up and made his way to the kitchen, suddenly wishing he hadn't refused a wheelchair. As he boiled water to make cup noodles a thought came to mind.  
"Akira can I see the file"

"I'm not allowed yet, you need to be reinitiated"

"Come on!! I won't tell anyone!! I want to help."

"Alright fine"

Case file: butchery   
File type: unsolved

Case details:   
several disappearances from the 1st and 2nd ward over the course of 3 months, under similar circumstances, 26 of the 32 assumed victims are men ,and all are of larger build. None had immediate family or nearby relatives.  
Remains left behind in all cases include, both legs severed mid shin, the end of the rectum, and the head cut from occipital bone between the neck and the base of the skull with a uniform chop, a majority of skulls display large fissures above the cavity, forensic test of the slice show they were made with a thick heavy blade in an unrushed chop.  
Careful and uniform work like this is common among organized groups and the frequency of killings is that of a group ranging in size from 100-600 members not considering that several other similar cases are under review.  
The possibility of a business or residential establishment as a front is highly considered ,and searches are pending warrant. Interviews with locals has divulged sightings of several unmarked vehicles in the area, but their connect to the case is still under scrutiny. 

Addendum butchery.016  
Street searches and stake outs have been authorized ,though all have come up inconclusive.  
In the past month activity has died down possiblity of stalk piling or transportation is being considered.  
Searches of businesses has been authorized. Initial searches lead to few leads ,and none with much evidence.

Addendum butchery.017  
Interviews of employees in a meat market "louis' delly" has showed that none recognize any of the victims despite victim [redacted] living in an apartment building on the block, and several of the workers having confirmed residency in that building, and those around it. All were given background checks and rc scans, showing none had been convicted for any serious crime, and all were human.  
Victim [redacted] was reported missing by his place of work after a week of not coming in, and not receiving calls, all employees report no unusual behavior from him the week prior. Lead considered inconclusive.

Juuzou read the report over three times sitting on the counter. It was a surprise to shinohara how much juuzou loved to read the reports and how often his deductions guided his own investigations. Juuzou of course never got recognition for this because his ideas were shot down due to his childish delivery, instead shinohara would word them to sound adult ,and buy him ice cream as a reward, much better than a promotion. 

Pondering for a moment he bit his lip, and tapped the counter, his middle finger hit softer than the others because of a stitched red x on the pad. "Akira i have a lead" he quoted shinohara. "Check those butcher guys again, what are their apartments like? Do they have big TVs,and fancy cars?"

"Why should that matter? They are human, they check out"

"They killed with a knife ,how do you know humans aren't behind this?"

"What do you mean?"

"What if these humans are selling meat to ghouls. What's his name was probably gonna snitch so they got em. Check his apartment too he might have been a part of it."

"There hasn't been activity of human-ghoul allies in the area for years."

"Exactly"

"Juuzou that's brilliant, We've been at this for months! Let's get you your badge back as soon as possible so we can submit this"

"No time, someone is coming to get the meat, we might miss them if we wait, you have to submit the report.

"Juuzou, that's not fair"

"You're gonna let them get away? think of all the people they'll kill."

"Sasaki has a lot to learn from you"

"Go submit the report!!"

"Ok fine, I'll repay you somehow"

"I want more ice cream!!!"

"Alright, I'll bring some when I come over for breakfast, I'm considering taking Mondays off."

"Sounds great, next Monday then" he jumped just as he finished typing, the kettle went off. He poured the water, and let it sit beside him, stepping to the fridge, he pulled out the ice cream cone from yesterday and wolfed it down before sticking his chopsticks in his noodles still a little to hard.

Juuzou ate his noodles slowly, imagining where the meat was stored, and who would come to get it. He hoped sasaki wasn't a wimp, because he was gonna rip them up, the best one legged investigator anyone had ever seen.


	8. Scraps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just an edge bomb, I promise it's headed somewhere, you could probably skip this page anyway....

The next days were filled with akira filing reports, and making requests, local law enforcement was not notified ,and searches were authorized.

Addendum butchery 018  
Special insight from one agent Akira mado showed new promise for the previously abandoned lead. The possibility of human ghoul co-operation is being considered. Searches of residences has been authorized with particular instructions to search houses in proximity to that of the late victim [redacted] ,and that income checks be done for all those individuals who's houses were searched. Investigators are to be suited for combat with humans ,and be issued a standard fire arm.

"We have an update"

"I'll take a look" juuzou turned of his game about a skilled repair worker of italian descent who was exploring the cosmos, and set his controller down. He read the revision twice before texting "don't get to excited yet, here comes the hard part, and I could be wrong."

"You're right, but I have a good feeling about this."

"A good old fashioned mado hunch?"

"We should change the name to a suzuya hunch."

"Am I still meeting your shining star tommorow?"

"Yes, and you can be reinstated on Monday, there's a promotion ceremony taking place then. I can come by your house for breakfast, we can go grocery shopping ,and have plenty of time to get ready for the evening."

"Sounds good, will they let me fight?"

"You passed your test, I don't see why not."

"Did I tell you I'm getting a new leg in a few months?"

"No you didn't mention it."

"Then I won't need so much help ,so I can leave you alone."

"Juuzou, I like helping you, everyone in the office is boring now, I'm glad you are back."

"Glad to be back."

Juuzou was growing tired of his pipe crawling adventures, and decided to take a walk, he crawled to his room to get his crutches ,and sunk his knee into a sharp metallic object ,he bearly noticed but looked down anyway to see his badge of honor, he stuck it in his pocket. He made his way back to the door now upright ,and smiled at his unused shoe. 

He walked a short distance winding through back allies, he found himself  
In a common hiding place, the old church. Sitting in the rows of empty iles he began to draw, a tall skinny man with beautiful black hair ,surely all gone now ,or left matted in blood on the arena floor. The light sound of the crayon hitting paper echoed through the incredible room. The evening sun was given new colors in the stained glass windows that lined the congregation hall ,pilers stretched to the ceiling creating strips of brilliance not quite parallel to the rows of wooden benches. Striding down that gleaming hall came the sound of hard soled dress shoes on solid marble. Juuzou ducked his head so the man in the suit wouldn't see him ,but the man's incredible hight made his efforts in vain. "Is that you mr. suzuya?" The voice was gentle ,but strong ,though it bearly lifted above the sound of his drawing. When given no response the voice continued "we were supposed to meet today"  
When the boy didn't respond again, and instead drew In another figure the man sat beside him "what are you drawing?"

"Dead people"

"It's um... It's a beautiful drawing"

Juuzou didn't look up to see the man, but he could see in his shadow how he shifted uncomfortably in his seat,  
As he marked a wide smile on the page. "Don't look at me like that"  
He sighed heavily "I don't like when people look at me like that"

Shinohara was beginning to understand now what his personal file ment by "non compliant" he set a hand on the boys shoulder ,and immediately regretted it when the boy recoiled from his touch. He finally turned to face him with a slight annoyance behind his dull red eyes. He set down his crayon in exasperation "you're not really here" and suddenly neither was he, he was sitting alone on a park bench holding his wrist tightly. He left red marks from his fingers, and shallow cuts from his nails. "Where are we rei?"

"Don't you want a jump on that investigation? We're only a block away from the street"

"I'm not reinstated yet, and I never will be if I go in there looking suspicious, besides I'll get akira fired"

"They don't respect you badge or not"

"Good point, but they do respect akira."

"Why would you care?"

"Akira respects me."

"She treats you like a child."

"She does not! Look I always try to consider your reasoning, but that's bullshit"

"Look she took you shopping, she said she'll eat your disgusting food-"

"It's gonna be good!! Shut up!!"

"Why would she want to be friends with you anyway? She knows your a killer, why don't you prove her right?"

"She doesn't know anything, and I'm different now" a sob left his throat, rei recognized his weakness as always.

"Come on, she read your case file infact anyone with her clearance knows all about you killer"

"So what do you want me to do?"

"Stop being boring"

"I thought we decided to be more goal oriented!!"

"The goal is fun!"

"You just do whatever mama says no questions asked! You don't really care about that only mama does"

"That's not true!!"

"I can't talk to you when you get like this."

"You're the one who changed!!" 

"Get out."

"What?"

"I said get out rei!"

"After everything I've-"

"You've what!? That case file is yours." Once again he was alone with a tingling in his wrist where he lost circulation. "Good riddance, I have to get home, I'm meeting my new partner ,tomorrow." 

Addendum butchery 019 

A mass search of the area will take place over the coming week, personal searching homes will be disguised as real estate inspectors, and those watching the street will be disguised as law enforcement officers. In the event an agent comes in contact with law enforcement the cover story of being an officer from the third ward is to be strictly upheld. 

That evening rei didn't say good night, and juuzou went to sleep with a cocktail of guilt, anxiety and excitement brewing in his gut. "Shinohara would be proud" he whispered to himself trying his best to believe it as sleep took him.

It was unreal, he stared at the face of his salvation. It was unmoving ,not one muscles flexed to pull a proud smile or a disappointed frown, he was still. The strong tension that held an immense frame had gone slack he was limp ,and had been since that day. It was dark ,a darkness that swallowed light ,not letting the lights of the monitors reach farther than a few inches. Yes the tiny child wavering on one leg was in deep sorrow, but something hit him deeper, so much deeper, it was cold, but not the way sadness was ,this was sharp and piercing, it was sheer rage. It cut through his puny chest ,and between each rib he felt a ache like he had never ached before. The beeping of the heart monitor was all that kept him bound to the room, with effort he would lose it, and fall apart. The image of his salvation was nothing, but empty space. He felt his rage cut through the warm parts of his mind happy memories felt sinister "you killed this one, he called you juuzou"  
He wanted to kick and scream against the voice ,but there was nothing to tear to bits, nothing to leave mangled ,all form was gone "he screamed at last ,but the darkness swallowed his voice too. He fell to the floor, but the floor wasn't there "you're still not normal, who can justify this"

his head finally hit the floor ,or rather a pile of dirty laundry, he had rolled out of bed. The shell of a person trying to live In a world of full people shuddered ,and cried even though no one could see him and no one would care "why mr. shinohara? Why?"


	9. Sirloin steak

It was an important morning juuzou realize as the room around him became real, perhaps the most important day since that operation. This meeting was not on juuzou hours it was at 10:00 sharp. A new partner, what would he be like? Juuzou thought as he dressed in his last set of clean clothes, a trip to the laundromat was going to be necessary soon. "I could buy a washer" he muttered rubbing sleep from his eyes.   
No text from akira this morning was uncharacteristic, but he figured she must be busy with the unfolding investigation ,and briefing her subordinate on the strange agent he would be working with. Still the lack of instructions made him feel unsure. He spared the time to look at the mirror, and run his hand through his hair, he had stopped cutting it in the hospital, and it grew to hang just above the shoulder, the ghostly white strands were clotted from lack of brushing. "I could get a haircut too"  
he was ready ,and on his way shortly he took a taxi ,but got out a little to soon so he had to walk ,just as he came up to the office building he got a text "juuzou the meetings in a few minutes, where are you?" 

"I'm outside"

"Great" 

He walked inside and past the receptionist without a word, he slunk down the hall his eyes fixing on iwao's office, he found Akira's quickly ,and pushed the door open without knocking. Akira looked up from her work at juuzou ,and smiled "hey juuzou I was afraid you were someone coming to give me more work"  
"Give me time ,and I will" he chuckled  
"Come on haise is in the archive" she used his first name.  
"Alright" akira stood up closing a file, and putting a hand on juuzou's shoulder. He shrugged her off but she had already felt how he was shaking, infact she could see it. "You don't have to hold onto me, I'm not gonna disappear" akira was taken back by how joyless he sounded, perhaps an attempt to be professional.  
As they rounded the corner juuzou looked up ,and down the room at investigators both familiar and not, to say familiar wasn't quite right, he learned so few names in all his time in the ccg, akira pointed at perhaps the smallest man besides him in the room "there he is go introduced yourself"  
The words didn't reach him, he stood still until finally with a turn on his heel he said "nope" and began to stroll down the hall.

"Juuzou!! Juuzou!!"  
Akira grabbed him by the shoulder firm.

"Go talk to him"

"He's not the one, he's not right, he handles a pen clumsily imagine him with a weapon"

"Sasaki is a-"

"Sasaki is what?" The defiance in his eyes made akira burn red hot.

"He's a very special investigator, what is your problem?"

"he's not right, I can see it already, he's a weakling."

"Come on juuzou, you haven't even talked to him. Besides your not exactly what you seem either"

Juuzou's face twisted up in what on another face might be an appalled expression.  
"The fuck does that mean!?" Juuzou hissed. 

"It's, i-i you know what I mean" akira stammered.

"No I don't, please elaborate"

"Well, you're-"

"You got me a "special" partner cause I'd scare anyone else off, I knew there was something wrong with him" juuzou raised his voice.

Akira jumped at a sudden tap on her shoulder "good morning Akira-san" chimed the clumsy weakling "I've been looking for you, I'm very excited to meet Mr.Suzuya" juuzou narrowed his eyes to stare daggers at him. A bead of sweat dripping down haise's face told him he was being ignored on purpose.

"Yes" akira said trying to stay calm "introduce yourself to him" akira gestured at juuzou ,and the hair on haise's neck stood up.

" Good morning Mr. suzuya, I'm looking forward to working with you" he offered a hand to shake, the lack of reciprocation made him think perhaps he was mistaken ,and the puny man before him wasn't the excellent investigator juuzou suzuya.  
Juuzou stood frozen swaying on his crutches "mr sasaki" juuzou began to akira's dismay and excitement "are you familiar with the stench of a body when their bowls release? something you can only smell moments after the disemboweling." Juuzou's stone cold expression didn't budge.  
Haise stood silent for a moment he was at a lose for words, akira was beginning to think juuzou didn't really want his job back. "Mr. Suzuya" haise said, the knot in his stomach growing bigger "I trusted you not to waste my time akira"

"Is there relevance to your question?"

"How strong is your stomach, I hope better than your eyesight" 

"I'm aware we see some brutal things on the job sir" juuzou wasn't supposed to be his superior.

"Akira, mind leaving us to get better acquainted?" 

She hesitated a moment "yes that would be good" there were few people who had akira tongue tied but juuzou apparently was one.

"Come on we're going on a walk" haise looked at akira as juuzou began to walk away, she nodded at him. haise followed juuzou out of the building on pure faith in akira, when the were down the street juuzou finally spoke "what's your deal?"

"I'm not sure I understand"

"You know, what are you in for? What's wrong with you rookie?"

"Well I'm a special kind of investigator-"

"You too? How are you special? tell me.'

"I'm not really supposed to-"

"They tell you no one knows ,but everyone sees your case file, it's a lie."

"Really?" Haise's face went pale

"Yeah, I don't want to read a case file about what you did, I want to hear you say it"

"I'm..." Haise tensed up "I'm enhanced"

"God you people are tight lipped"

"I'm not completely human, I don't eat normal food ,and I change in battle situations" juuzou realized haise was as weak as he thought, he would gloat to akira about it later. He just gave up his big secret to someone he had only met twice. 

"Oh, you are special" juuzou said half mocking him. "You like ramen? I'm starving"

"I could eat" 

"Great, come on" 

"Wait what restaurant are we going to?"

"There's one right up the block, you live around here, how do you not know?" 

"Just moved in recently."

"No you didn't" juuzou said disappearing into an ally way.

Haise ran after the strange on legged investigator. "Mr suzuya"

"Yeah" 

"Why did you act like that in front of akira" 

"Don't let your superiors get to comfortable" juuzou stopped at the hole in the wall "here, me and some people from the office used to eat here all the time" he turned to the man behind the bar "two of the usual please" 

"You've never ordered here by yourself, you don't have a usual"

"Fine the hottest thing on the menu for me and... Do you have anything for kids?"

"Yeah, have a seat I gotta get the heavy duty stuff from the back" the man challenged

"Bring it on" juuzou smiled wryly until the man was gone in the back of the tiny kitchen and then turned to haise "they'll probably give you my file later, but if you want I'll tell you what's wrong with me too."

Haise shuddered at the way he phrased it "I'd rather hear it from you."

"Raised by ghouls" juuzou said simply


	10. Sirloin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never written Haise before, be gentle I'm still feeling this out.

As They sat together and ate Haise said not another word ,and neither did Juuzou, he had made himself understood "you'll need to work damn hard for my respect, I'm going to trust you because Akira trusts you" as they ate Haise would stop between bites to catch a glimpse of the boy. Finally Juuzou was the one to break the silence "when we go back in to talk with akira, you're gonna be quiet,"

"Yes si,r"

"Now finish your kiddy meal, this meeting is over,"

The moment haise's bowl was empty Juuzou stood up without a word, or even a glance, as if he could sense the noodles were gone, and tossed a wad of bills over the counter ,as he began walking back to the building. Haise followed closely as to not lose sight of him again. 

Akira sat in the lobby with her chin resting on her laced fingers ,and a worried expression on her face. Investigators and other personal gave concerned looks as they passed. "Akira!!" Juuzou sang, just loud enough to make Haise uncomfortable. She looked up at him with an intense expression on his face. "I think I'll take him! At the very least he might be fun to mess with,"

"I promise you won't regret it Juuzou, (yes extremely fun to mess with)"

"That better be true, this job is my life,"

Those words again, so hollow. akira smiled despite the sinking feeling. "Well I'm leaving," Juuzou announced 

"Oh... Ok" Haise muttered as he walked out. Akira all but dragged Haise back to her office.  
"What did he say to you?"

"He was... Very strange, like no other investigator I've ever seen"

"If you don't want to work with him you don't have to"

"No no! I just understand now what you meant by special, even indirectly I can feel that Mado influence"

"Mr. Shinohara said he was an investigator after my father's heart"

"He was a brilliant man, wasn't he?"

"He was made for this job, but Juuzou is more like Shinohara than my father,"

"I'll learn everything I can from him"

"Be aware, he's a lot to handle, his methods are difficult to follow, trust him because I trust him."

"Yes ma'am" with that Haise stood from his chair ,and bowed before leaving. Standing alone in the tiny room Akira thought to herself how Juuzou was exactly like Haise ,what a strange pair they would make. She nearly laughed aloud at the thought, and she allowed herself to smile again.

The bitter blue that hung on all things on a rainy day hung today on Juuzou too, it wasn't unpleasant but the absence of Rei's voice made him feel strangely lonely. It was tiresome walking on one leg, and the bruises under his arms were getting annoying he was thankful that suzy ignored them. The quiet clack of his crutches was audible only to his ears in the busy street where it felt today everyone had agreed to move slowly. His mind wondered back to Haise again and how he had handled his first test, had he failed Juuzou assumed he would hear from Akira about it soon, it might even cost him the job, but that was a risk he was willing to take to see what Haise was made of ,and to see who Akira put her trust in. He decided to wander a while, days like this were normal for him especially this time of year he was often alone strangely a few hours later after wasting the day in the most purposeful way someone can his phone buzzed. "Greetings sir. Mado-san gave me your contact" 

"Don't text me, if I am needed I will be there, I'll know before you do,"

A few minutes passed, Juuzou imagined Ken showing the text to Akira asking for advice "Understood sir but I'm not so perceptive as you so you will need call me if I'm needed."

"We can work on that"

Juuzou took that as his cue to wonder home, he had gone so far he reached reached his building at sunset. the apartment felt smaller than when he left warmer too ,and the bed felt more inviting. His stomach growled, "I'll cook something" his words were met with silence. He had been so distracted he almost forgot about his fight with Rei-chan. He filled up a kettle all the time feeling watched. He sighed in exasperation when he set it on the burner. He sat down on the counter Crossing his arms "I know you're there. What's with the silent treatment?" He grumbled. Silence again "it's not funny anymore!"  
The house felt quieter than it had ever been or had his head just gone quiet?  
His face felt hot ,and he felt that hopelessness again "if you don't come out we're going to bed hungry again!"

"Where have you been all day?" she finally responded in a passive aggressive voice with a hint of genuine curiosity.

"Work."

"Don't be short with me." She hissed

"You've got nerve, met my new partner today, I like him... A lot" he glared.

"Why should I care?"

"You asked"

"I didn't want to come out anyway! You're the instigator!"

"I didn't say anything! Can you just let it go already!?"

"Fine, otherwise baby will starve us to death"

Juuzou sighed "look I shouldn't have said that, it has nothing to do with anything, it was just nasty,"

"Gross, you sound like shinohara"

"Yeah... I guess I do" feelings can change a lot in only a few months of sleeping in a hospital Juuzou realized, he was so sure of his noble cause when he kissed Shinohara good night,  
That got so muddled. "Do you miss him too?"

Rei-chan choked slightly "yeah" she admitted as if involuntary.

"You agreed with me that night that we would make him proud"

"I know" she gasped.

"Please, we're in this together, I'm sorry for what I said"

"No I'm sorry!" She bawled "I just, I feel like I'm losing you and... And" she sobbed loudly but Juuzou smiled for her.

"Is that all?" He said dismissively.

"What do you mean is that all?!?!" She retorted.

"I mean if that's it then you don't have to worry, I'm not going anywhere. I'm trying to take care of us... Mr.Shinohara would be sad if you died" a tear rolled down his cheek.

"I'm hungry" she sniffled   
Juuzou downed three cup noodles each increasingly under cooked as the water cooled ,and finished the orange juice before heading to bed  
"Was that good?"

"Yeah" Rei-chan sighed

"It's gonna be ok, I'm holding us together, you should trust me"

"Ok, I'll try... Juuzou"

"I promise you won't regret it"


End file.
